complete numbness

Yesterday, I wrote for 14 hours in total. Most of that was editing what I had in the beginning 6 hours to make it better. You would think one would stay away from writing anything unnecessary after typing away for more than half a day, but here I am, writing a blog post.

I’m very ready to go home at this point. Reality is kind of slipping away. I’m starting to get into the robotic phase where I’m not really contributing anything to conversations because all I’m thinking of is the most efficient way to catch up on work and getting shit done. You know, tunnel vision. I stop noticing people when I walk down the street. Don’t realize that I’m humming to myself in public etc…It gets pretty bad. It’s mostly uncomfortable for other people. I just feel numb while all this is happening.

AFter 14 hours though, a paper becomes your baby. I had no shame when I secretly kissed before I sent it off to the real world (aka. under the scrutiny of the arbiter). It’s good that I cared how it turned out while writing it, but it’s also bad because you get emotionally invested. So if I get a bad grade, I think I will be upset for an entire week. So this is how my parents feel…

Anyhow, I must go back to writing about things that will be getting graded! Oh the joys of being a intellectual history major…



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