You keep running

You keep running.

You’re not running from anything particular really; nothing’s chasing you. You may think it but you’re also not running towards anything either. Nothing can be as repulsive as the state you find yourself when you are still.

The reason why the girl by the window is repeatedly (and annoyingly) shaking her leg, why the octogenarian is tapping the on the massive paper work as he reads, and why the young man sitting by himself is constantly checking his phone as if he is forgetting what second it is…it is all to prevent stillness.

The constant and trivial movements exist to prevent something as well. To help you forget that you’re alone: alone and no one to think with your mind. You can offer your shoes, sure. But to see through your mind is something else. I can’t say that we haven’t tried. Psychologists have attempted with ridiculous sounding theories that come from generations ago during the time of the ancient Greeks and Romans, but it hasn’t done much to console the ones who jump from rooftops. Not that it’s the psychologists’ fault, of course.

I suppose depression happens to everyone. Especially to the ones who let themselves to sit through this stillness. The ones who help themselves out to their phones and open their laptops are the ones who usually can’t bear the silence.

People find this flow comfortable. Flow of conversations, flow of ideas, flow of work…some of these flows are not even new. We live this like that things are “new.” In fashion, the content of the flows are recycled.  The colors that we see are limited, you see. ROYGBIV. Our ability to experience doesn’t evolve as fast as we might like to think, as Eliot Rosewater said: science doesn’t make your lives better.

I don’t think I sound far fetched if I said that we equate stillness to death. Death is the ultimate stillness. Without this movement, whether it is improvement, regression or digression, we are symbolically, dead. However, one must make a distinction that stability is different from stillness. Stability is a careful, repeated task that keeps one afloat at one level, not passing above or below mediocrity. This is a comfortable state to live in. It is however, not comforting to know, as an overachiever, that you are comfortable.

-A

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